It was the type of moment that can bring a tear to nitpicking mom’s eyes.
Glancing at the movie title Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who, my daughter asked about the placement of the apostrophe. I praised her attentiveness, but I didn’t pause for a grammar lesson. I think that how to use an apostrophe with a word ending in an “S” is one of the most difficult lessons to master, and it was close to her bed time.
The Associated Press Stylebook devotes nearly two pages in its punctuation section on how to form possessives. The movie title is in line with its guidelines for singular proper names ending in “S.”
The Chicago Manual of Style, however, says that the same general rule for forming possessives “covers most proper nouns, including names ending in s, x, or z.” The examples it offers include Strauss’sVienna. That style guide does note that “Since feelings on these matters sometimes run high, users of this manual may wish to modify or add to the exceptions,” plus it adds an alternative practice of always omitting the possessive “S” on words that end in “S,” so that would allow Dr. Seuss’.
If I were the editor, however, it would have been Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hears a Who.
How do you write possessives of proper names ending with “S”?
Last month it was easier to spot a misplaced apostrophe than a snowflake in my town. Two signs in particular irked me.
I know that the teachers don’t put up the sign outside the school, but I hoped that at least one of them would point out the error in “Thank you veteran’s!!” I waited all month for the school to fix the sign, but it never did. The sign stood for weeks as a painful smear on the school’s reputation and a poor example for the students.
The other sign wasn’t something handwritten in a mom-and-pop store but a preprinted sign in a regional grocery store chain. I wonder how many people missed that mistake before it was printed and delivered to about 100 stores.
It baffles me when people make the mistake of trying to form a plural with an apostrophe. Some possessive uses of an apostrophe can be confusing, but rarely is an apostrophe used to form a plural. For example, you might need it for clarity if you’re talking about minding your p’s and q’s.
So before you stick an apostrophe in a word willy-nilly, ask yourself whether it is forming a possessive or substituting for omitted letters or figures.
This summer, I embarked on a brief crime spree: I defaced private property. And I did it in front of horrified witnesses—my husband and three children. I knew I was setting a bad example, but I didn’t care. I was ready to do time in the hoosegow, to pay my debt to society—even though, in my humble opinion, society owed a debt to me, a debt of gratitude.
I just couldn’t take it any more. So I furtively looked around to make sure that no one was watching, crossly shushed my husband’s protests and solemnly instructed my kids to watch while their mother struck a blow for the cause of—proper punctuation.
Let me explain.
I was on a family vacation to an Oregon coastal town that shall remain nameless to protect the guilty (me). We had flown our kites, eaten our seafood dinners, walked the docks and taken in the sights. As we were leaving the souvenir village, we stopped to read a sign commemorating a local legend, a fierce sea monster known in local lore as the crown lizard.
My criminal instincts stirred when I read that “it’s skull was the largest reptile head ever found.” They hardened when I read the next sentence: “It’s teeth were also the largest ever discovered.” By the time I read to the end, where I learned that the monster would eat anything it could fit “down it’s rather large gullet,” I was convinced that “it’s” appetite for apostrophes also was insatiable.
To be fair—and to share the credit—I was not the first person to notice the extra apostrophes in that plaque. A couple of them were missing by the time my family showed up to read about the crown lizard. I even left a couple so that some grammar do-gooder could come along after me and feel the same thrill that I felt as I gently peeled off each offending apostrophe.
Come to think of it, I probably would appreciate having some company while I’m counting the bars in jail. Of course, I expect to be very busy while I’m doing hard time: I’ll probably find tons of misspelled graffiti on my cell walls.
Misplaced apostrophes are a common complaint among editors and grammar aficionados. If that’s one of your personal pet peeves, you might appreciate this catchy song from Cool Rules, an Australian learning resources provider. A friendly warning, though: You may find yourself humming “The Apostrophe Song” long after you finish watching the video.
What drives you crazy? What misstatements and misuses push your grammar buttons? Your friends and family probably tell you to stop nitpicking—at least that’s what I hear all the time.
Don’t listen to those people. You are a person who cares about language and its proper use. And you are the type of person from whom I want to hear.
Tell me all about your No. 1 communication pet peeve. Is it the people who say things like “supposively”? Is it that sign in the grocery store express lane that beckons to people with “10 items or less”? Whatever it is, I want to hear about it, and so does everyone else here in Nitpicker’s Nook.
