Consider this scenario:

A customer orders an item that is supposed to be delivered in seven to 10 business days. In 10 days she has an event where she plans to wear the item. Unfortunately, it doesn’t arrive in time; it shows up on the 11th day. She returns it, and the company refunds her, less the shipping cost. The customer is frustrated because she feels the shipping fee should have been refunded as well, since the item was late, and that was the cause of the return. But when she contacts the company to explain the situation, she receives a response like one of these:

Dear Customer X,

We apologize for the inconvenience. Unfortunately, our return policy does not refund shipping. Thank you for understanding.

Have a nice day,
Employee Z

Or

Dear Customer X,

We apologize for the inconvenience. Your account has been credited $7.00 to cover shipping.

We appreciate your business,
Employee Z

A customer who received the first email is going to be furious, partially because she didn’t get what she wanted, but also because the response is so nonspecific and unfeeling it could have been automated. And while a customer who received the second message might not be as angry, she probably doesn’t feel support or empathy from the company. It’s unlikely that she’ll complain further, but she might take her business elsewhere in the future, even though her request was granted. Consider these alternative responses:

 Dear Customer X,

I am very sorry that your order didn’t come in time for your event! I can imagine the frustration that must have caused you. If there was any way for me to refund your shipping cost I would, but unfortunately our return policy cannot cover standard shipping, as that arrival time is estimated, not guaranteed. Once we send out a shipment through standard mail, there’s really no way for us to control its arrival. However, I don’t want you to be frustrated, so I’d like to offer you this 20% off code for your next order: Save_20. 

Again, I’m very sorry,
Employee Z

Or

Dear Customer X,

I am very sorry that your order didn’t come in time for your event! I can imagine the frustration that must have caused you. Of course I will refund your shipping fee. I also want to assure you that it is very, very rare for our shipments to arrive after the estimated arrival window, so I hope you’ll feel confident to shop with us again.

Please let me know if I can be of any more help,
Employee Z

A customer who received the third email might still be frustrated, but not nearly to the extent she would be if she received the first example. Being spoken to like a real human being makes a big difference. And a customer who received the final email would be appeased on two levels: for receiving the refund and for getting what appears to be a sincere, heartfelt apology.

I understand that no organization can always give the customer what he or she wants, but every organization can respond to disappointed customers with respect and empathy.

We’d love to hear your tips for responding to customer complaints. Please share them in the Comments section.

It has come to my attention that even fellow English majors in the office misuse the pronouns “me” and “I.” More and more I think that happens because people believe that “I” sounds more proper—even when “me” is actually correct.

Follow these guidelines and avoid pronoun confusion:

• Use “I” when the pronoun is the subject of the verb. Example: Jane and I are going to lunch.
   
• Use “me” when the pronoun is the object of the verb. Example: The dog followed Jane and me to the door.
   
• Still unsure? Remove the other noun or pronoun from the sentence. Example: John gave my boss and I the most recent report.
   
  First, remove the words “my boss and.” Next, read the modified sentence: “John gave I the most recent report.” Now you can tell that the sentence is incorrect. The correct pronoun is “me.”

What other grammar lessons confuse you … or those around you?

As a rookie reporter, I had returned from a county commission meeting unsure how to write my story for the newspaper. So I started typing in paragraphs based on my notes, figuring that I would rearrange them later in an order that made sense.

Greg told me that was no way to write, and he was right.

If you can’t write a headline or introduction, you haven’t thought enough about what you want to convey in your writing or speech.

Sure you can jot down ideas that you want to include, but don’t try to write a first draft. If you aren’t clear yourself about what you want your readers or listeners to take away, you aren’t ready to compose the body.

You can revise or rewrite it later, but consider your topic long enough to write some type of introduction before you draft anything else.

Think first; write second.

What’s your advice for writing a first draft?

It doesn’t matter what field you’re in or what title you hold. Being a strong communicator—an “Ultimate Communicator”—will catapult your career. Here are some of the reasons why:

1. Others look to you for leadership. Ultimate Communicators know how to influence and motivate others, so it’s only natural that people turn to them for guidance. Plus, they always convey professionalism and confidence, impressing those around them.
    
2. People want to work with you. Ultimate Communicators make others feel appreciated, interesting and important—so people flock to them. And when it’s time to deliver negative feedback, Ultimate Communicators deliver it in such a way that it feels constructive instead of accusatory.
    
3. Misunderstandings don’t monopolize their days. Because Ultimate Communicators know how to give clear and concise directions the first time, they don’t have to clean up nearly as many messes. And they understand what messages they send with their word choice, body language and tone of voice, so they rarely offend people and cause conflicts.
    
4. They’re always learning and growing. Ultimate Communicators understand that listening is just as important—if not more—than speaking and writing well. With their strong listening skills, they’re constantly developing new ideas and skills.

If you want to join that elite group, register for one of these Ultimate Communicator workshops, led by Carl Smith and Guy Harris, in March:

• March 5-6: Kansas City, Mo.
   
• March 8-9: Cincinnati, Ohio
   
• March 12-13: Virginia Beach, Va.
   
• March 15-16: Sacramento, Calif.
   
• March 19-20: Anaheim, Calif.
   
• March 22-23: Phoenix
   
• March 26-27: Chicago

The 9-year-old explained to her mom that the Dictionary.com mobile app will speak words for you.

Abi’s story led me to check out dictionary applications for my smartphone, and I download the Merriam-Webster app, which offers similar features to the Dictionary.com app.

Here’s what you can do from your smartphone or iPad:

• Voice search for a word. The feature worked when I pronounced “downtown” with my best Pittsburgh accent, “dahn-tahn,” and successfully located “y’all.”
   
• Listen to the correct pronunciation of a word.
   
• Find synonyms for the words you look up.
   
• Learn a Word of the Day.

You don’t need an Internet connection to search words, but you may need one for some features, depending on the app. Free apps are available, or you can pay $2.99 for an ad-free version with premium features, such as illustrations.

With an app like that at your fingertips, you have no excuse for making a mistake with a word, even if you didn’t study your spelling words when you should have in elementary school.

What apps do you recommend?

The subject of cyberbullying has dominated the headlines over the last year. Children and teens turn to Facebook and Twitter to communicate with one another, and abusive behavior that was once reserved for the school yard has moved online. Cyberbullying has become a very real problem.

Reading those posts got me thinking about how businesses are sometimes the victims of cyberbullying. A customer can post terrible comments on Facebook, insult the writer of a blog post, “tweet” reputation-damaging statements, all under the safe cloak of anonymity. Even when they’re not completely anonymous, they don’t have to look at the bewildered or pained face of a customer service rep or even listen to the voice of a person who is trying to rectify the situation.

Without face-to-face (or even over-the-phone) interaction, it’s much easier to be vicious, to say things that the person would never dream of saying to an actual person. It’s safe to assume that statements made in social media formats are sometimes—if not often—overblown. Still, organizations must address those comments to protect their reputations.

So how do you respond to negative comments targeted at your products or organization through the various social media outlets? Here are some suggestions:

• Focus on the facts. If someone posts something false, provide accurate information to set the record straight.
   
• Accept constructive criticism. If customers provide feedback—even if it is also insulting—publish the comments. Respond by thanking customers for their suggestions. You can either state that you are considering their feedback or quickly offer a solution that is already in place for resolving the issue.
   
• Own up to the criticism. Perhaps your organization has done something that warrants the negative comments. Publish the comments and apologize for the problem. That’s a great way to save face and show some integrity to your customers.
   
• Don’t become argumentative or rude. Use calm respectful language. Don’t make accusations or assumptions. Simply and quickly state your case.
   
• Clean house. Some people troll websites and write nasty comments for “fun.” Don’t respond to derogatory comments that have no merit. Ignore them. If the person continues to attack you, block him or her from commenting.

Ever had to deal with a cyber attack? Tell us how you handled it.

In order to read today’s post, you have to put your politics aside for a moment.

Are you ready? Feeling less biased? Good.

Now, look at this picture of Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer and President Obama:

It’s a very uncomfortable picture, no matter what side of the aisle you’re on.

Now, put yourself in Obama’s shoes. How would you feel with someone shaking a finger in your face?

How about a co-worker? Imagine yourself or a co-worker in Obama’s shoes and your boss in Brewer’s shoes.

What kind of reputation would your boss have after causing a scene like this one in public? And how many people would stay very long in a work environment where bosses regularly yell at and humiliate employees?

What if the roles were flipped? If an employee did this to a boss, how long do you think he or she would have a job?

My point is that acting out like Brewer is doing in this picture is no way to communicate. Love her or hate her, she’s doing herself a real disservice by letting her emotions get the better of her.

Yelling, being aggressive and getting in someone’s face is the worst way to make your point. It actually negates what you have to say, because:

• Bad behavior like that is extremely disrespectful;
   
• You’re the one who looks unprofessional; and
   
• Your point will be completely lost, because everyone will focus on what you’re doing instead of what you’re saying.

Poor communication skills hurt your reputation. They affect how people perceive you.

It doesn’t matter what’s making your communication “bad.” It could be that you fly off the handle, or that you use incorrect grammar or that you tell off-color jokes at inappropriate times. Whatever bad choices you’re making when you communicate, people will judge you as a person based on those choices. How you communicate is a reflection of yourself and your character.

Pretend you’re in charge (or maybe you already are). Can you imagine hiring a salesperson who uses bad grammar to go make high-level sales pitches? How would that make your company look? Or if you were looking to promote someone, would you want to take a chance on Fred, who can’t seem to stop himself from making inappropriate remarks about the secretary’s blouse or trying to guess which of his co-workers are gay? Probably not.

So, if you want to hurt your credibility, then by all means, throw a fit in public or in the board room.

On the other hand, if you want to get your point across, if you want to be able to persuade people to your way of thinking or just motivate them to act and be more productive, if you want people to take you seriously and listen to what you have to say, keep your emotions in check.

Think before you speak or act, and keep looking for ways to make your communication skills stronger. Then, use those skills to build bridges.

You’re a lot more likely to be heard that way.

What’s the most unprofessional display of emotion you’ve witnessed?

[Image Source]

At a previous job, I reported to a man who was an infamous close-talker. No matter how far I backed up, he continued to get closer. I noticed he did this with any person with whom he felt comfortable. It wasn’t personal, but I still didn’t like it.

Beyond the occasional bad breath, the invasion of my personal space was a serious problem for me. Without knowing the appropriate tactics to deal with such a situation, however, I usually suffered silently or did my best to avoid one-on-one conversation with him.

Fortunately, since then I’ve learned a few tactics that will help you put some much needed space between yourself and a close-talker. Use these strategies, and suffer no more:

• Move your body to the side. Rather than backing up, which often only encourages the close-talker to move forward, try pivoting your body to the side. This way you will no longer be directly facing the speaker.
   
• Put something between you. If you are holding a drink or folder, put your arm with the object in between you to signal that you are occupying more space.
   
• Cough into your hand. Sometimes a cough will signal a close-talker to back off.
   
• Talk louder. Some close-talkers are not motivated by rudeness or a lack of social skills, but rather by legitimate hearing problems. Raise your volume so that they can hear you from a more acceptable distance.
   
• Leave the conversation. When all signals have failed to move the close-talker back, find a reason to excuse yourself from the conversation.

What tips or tricks do you have for dealing with close-talkers?

In a list at the end, McCammon includes this advice:

“Not only should you assume that every e-mail you send will get forwarded to someone else, you should assume that every e-mail you send will someday be read aloud in a court of law. Discretion.”

That’s certainly more powerful than the advice not to write anything that you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of a newspaper. Email can be used as evidence in court, and if you keep that in mind you will type more carefully.

For more email tips, head over to our OrganizedExecutive.com site and download the free report 25 Tips for Using Email More Efficiently.

Share your email best practices in the Comments section below.

Communication M.O.:

Gossips love to be “in the know.” They enjoy being the ones who share news first, especially when it’s juicy—the more scandalous or sensational the story, the better. Office romances and organizational layoffs are among their favorite topics. As long as something might be true, it’s worth mentioning.   

Working with a gossip:

• Eliminate the opportunity. Gossip thrives in environments where reliable information is scarce. If you’re in a leadership position, keep your team informed. There will, of course, be information you can’t share—or can’t share right away—but keeping everyone in the loop when possible will ease their fears and reduce gossip.
   
• Don’t feed the fire. If you know a co-worker is a gossip, don’t engage with him or her in those kinds of conversations—even when the day’s topic is one you find intriguing. You’ll just encourage the person to continue spreading rumors of all types.
   
• Express your discomfort. Many gossips don’t realize there is a problem with their behavior. Be direct and tell them that it makes you uncomfortable. You can express that tactfully by saying something like “You know, I just don’t think that’s any of our business. Let’s talk about something else.” “I’d prefer not to discuss [his/her] personal business.” Or “When you suggest that those sorts of things might happen, you spread a lot of unnecessary negativity and anxiety throughout the staff.”

If you’re a gossip:

• Ask yourself “Is this any of my business?” Whenever you’re about to open your mouth about something at work, consider whether it’s really your concern. Does it affect you that Jennifer and Mark may be dating? Or that the marketing team—which you’re not on—might have to cut someone next month? Or that David looked pretty upset when he came out of the boss’s office? Probably not. In those cases, it’s better to keep your mouth closed.
   
  Better yet, follow this advice from Buddha: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” If you limit yourself to what is true, necessary and kind, no one will ever accuse you of being a gossipmonger.
   
• Tally your positive and negative comments. For a week, keep track of how many times you speak positively about your colleagues and your organization while at work and how many times you speak negatively about them. That will make you more conscious of your gossiping. Then focus on replacing negative comments with positive ones. When you feel yourself about to say something negative or gossipy, bite your tongue until you can say something positive instead. It’ll take time to reform your habits, but it will happen if you make it a priority.
   
• Recruit a friend to help you stop. Explain to a trusted friend (preferably one who doesn’t gossip) that you intend to break your bad habit. Ask the person to give you a signal when you start engaging in conversations that are speculative, rumor-based or negative. The signal can be something that no one else would even notice, like a subtle clearing of the throat. You’ll recognize it, though, and be able to consciously redirect your conversation.

Are you sick of drama in the workplace? Attend the Stop the Workplace Drama Training Camp with Marlene Chism. You’ll learn to deal with everything from gossip and backstabbing to absenteeism and turnover. Marlene will be presenting in Chicago, Ill. on March 28 and 29. Sign up now!